TiVo - Don't Hate Me Now!

Dear TiVo, don't do this to me! Not now!

Don't lure me in, become my best friend , change my life, and then just up and leave! I can't imagine my life without you! You've been there as long as I can remember (or so it seems).

We move to the new apartment, everything seems fine. But it's all a ploy to lull me into a false sense of security. Suddenly, one day, you up and stop working! You won't download! You won't connect! All calls failed!

I'm up until 3am trying to coax and caress you into performing. Is it me? Have I changed? What have I done? Don't you like our new roommate Vonage? Are the two of you having issues? What don't I know? What aren't you telling me? I even missed the gym to sort out your squabbling (the diet started Monday, starting weight 178.6 lbs - down some 15 lbs since Thanksgiving, yes, I'm wasting away!).

What more can I do? Someone please, please help!!!