John Cena is... The Marine!

So Joe and I purchased advance tickets to ensure that we were front and center at the Arclight for the 7:25pm Friday night showing.

The Marine is the first movie to be solely developed by WWE Films (but the second to be released), and not surprisingly the company's current slate of movies all star the best and brightest of the WWE's wrestlers. With such quality backing I'm sure it shocks no-one that this flick isn't exactly Oscar material. That said, it's certainly 93 minutes of fun filled action and adventure, with an explosion of some sort every thirty seconds, so I'm sure it'll satisfy many a wrestling fan.

Sadly John is only shirtless for a fraction of the movie. However more often that not, as discharged marine John Triton, he is soaked to the skin. And my does that grey t-shirt cling perfectly to his bulging biceps and pumped pecs throughout the movie.

Though Mr. Cena gets above the line billing, main baddie Robert Patrick over acts his little black heart out, is given all the best lines (and definitely more lines), and cannily pays homage to his most famous film role, the T-1000.

Lastly there's Mrs John Triton, played by Kelly Carlson, who... well, let's just say Meryl Streep has cause for concern. You all thought Kelly's portrayal of blow-up doll creator turned Scientologist Kimber on Nip/Tuck was real acting.

But back to John, a tad monosyllabic? Sure. A little Neanderthal-esq? You could say so. Needing a little help with his emotional expressiveness.? Certainly. But at 6'1 and 240 lbs, the perfect specimen of a man? Abso-fraking-lutely!

With that faint smile and glint in his eye when he talks, and of course that phenomenal physique, well, I reckon he's got star quality. I certainly left the movie wanting much more of John!

And one last thing, take note Mr. Woo, John would make the perfect He-Man in your upcoming Masters of the Universe movie!