A Life Lesson!

During one of the commercial breaks for CBS' Sunday Morning today I inadvertently saw the teaser for tonight's Survivor finale. Having not yet watched Thursday night's episode I did not know that the women had made it to the "Final 4."

How surprised was I then when watching the episode to see Erik win the prized Immunity Idol, guaranteeing him a place in said Final 4. So what happened? You can watch here:



"Those damn girls."

You stupid boy!

Just Another Day in LA!

After a long 6-day stretch last week at Spago, today was my additional day off. Time to run a bunch of errands and get back to the gym after a few self-imposed days off.

First stop Golden Apple to pick up Buffy #7 and some other comics. And there is some hot blonde filming some bit, probably for those G4 kids at Attack of the Show, highlighting some upcoming Thunderbolts graphic novels.

Then at Target, you've got a another camera crew following some chick pushing a cart filled with Hanes products, which now seem to dominate the whole men's underwear section. Over in housewears there's Andy Richter, not saving the universe, but rather just shopping with his kids. Andy by the way he is one big tall dude.

At the gym are those cute baseball-capped twins from MTV's True Life "I'm an Identical Twin episode, Maurice, one of the "most gorgeous male models" from Bravo's 2004 reality show Manhunt, and the usual number of completely ripped, completelty shaved down model types that frequent the gym from 11 to 2.

Finally at Rock 'n' Roll Ralphs I waiting in line for the cashiers behind two sportily dressed Latinas. Or so I think. When one has to go back to fetch some iced-oatmeal cookies, I get a better look. Both chicks have big tits, tiny wastes, broad shoulders, strong chins AND Adam's Apples! I'm stuck behind two done-up-to-the-sporty-nines transexuals who barely seem to speak English (and the cashier happens to be Asian who then asks if I'm into bodybuilding and if I know who won last week's Olympia).

Just another day in LA!

Kitchen Nightmares

Dotty ex-antiques shop owner Sandy, sulky Laura and horse-faced Helen run Morgans, an intimate restaurant in Woolton, an upscale suburb of Liverpool, with British super-soap Hollyoaks taped just around the corner.

I'd been suffering from some Gordon Ramsay withdrawal since Hell's Kitchen finished up it's tepid third season just a few weeks ago, but flipping through the what's on list on Tivo there I found him on BBC America in Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. And that's where I met the gals of Morgans as Ramsay bleeps his way through another hour of reality television, this time hoping to turn around struggling and underperforming British restaurants with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop.

No matter what your opinion of Ramsay he certainly knows what he's doing, demanding responsibility and profitability from his new found charges, which, at least in this episode, results in a terrific upswing in business and success for sous-turned-head chef Emma. All the while however Ramsay simply delights in stirring up the emotions and egos involved in running a restaurant. This of course makes for good TV, has earned the show a couple of BAFTAs (the British Emmy), and come September 19th we'll see Kitchen Nightmares, the US copycat version on FOX.

I wonder if "bollocks" will be among the words bleeped out!

Big Brother: The Stuff We Don't See!

"I saw a vision. I won the POV, and I feel like that was God's way... of prepping me for this week... If everything pans out as God's told me its going to, you know, I'm going to win POV tomorrow and Jameka and me will be in the final two. That's what I really believe."

Oh, poor, dear, vocabulary challenged Amber, your vision didn't come to pass, but God may actually be on your side after all. It looks like we'll be saying "Bye Bye" to dear busty Jen this week. Backdoored by Danielle, Jen threw a wobbly once the prime-time cameras shut down for the night on Tuesday, ranting and raving, destroying Dick's fags and breaking from her season-long slop sentence, finally tucking in to some real food.

This earned her the first ever Big Brother penalty nomination:


Which was later changed to a single penalty vote. Seeing as she's sure to be gone this week, I suppose this will seem more dramatic on tonight's live Thursday show.

By the way a big “thank you” to Reality Blurred for keeping me updated on these real cumings and goings in the house (and by that I'm also referring to Eric's on-screen masturbation, a video of which has since been removed from YouTube), since I don’t subscribe to the live feed nor do I have Showtime Too. Oh well, much as I love BB8, three primetime hours and some online gossip is more than enough.

But back to Jen, who, truth be told, has been one of my favourite houseguests this season. Though truly self absorbed, her don’t care attitude and competitive edge have gotten her pretty far (although she’s been on the block numerous times). She's proved she’s there to play the game (and not just in it for the cash, having relinquished half her possible winnings during a veto competition), making her untelevised outbursts true to character. Let's face it, who really wants to play to lose? And this is effectively what she’s now doing. She may as well go out with a bang and have some fun (and some real food) while she finishes up her time in the BB house. Good on her, I'm sure I'd play it a similar way.

And yes Matt, I think (and am hoping) that Danielle will take it all, with Jess, Eric and sadly at this point I'm thinking Amber (maybe God's poisoning my mind) may actuallly round out the final four.

Big Brother Update: Week Whatever-It-Is

A hottieless house is not necessary a boring house, as the last couple of weeks of BB8 is proving. If anything Nick's ousting has helped the season, lighting the fire in Danielle and encouraging Dick to reluctantly make peace with Jen and (now gone) Kail.

Let's first talk Evil Dick, the voice of reason this season? Love him or hate (and I love him), he says what he thinks, is not afraid to confront people, point out their hypocrisies and tell it like it is. Maybe not the best way to play the game, but Dick is doing what he needs to to get Danielle to the end. Pissing off the other houseguests seems his way of making up for lost time and trying to be a good dad. A prime example being this outburst towards Amber (and Jameka) before the veto competition:

"You are one ugly bitch. On the life of your daughter I am going to make you so miserable every f***ing day that you regret ever seeing me. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Let's pray! You save her Jameka, even though you don't know how to save yourself. Help me Jesus! Help me Lord! Give me that magic ping-pong ball this morning!"

Oh Dustin, how I grow to hate reality TV homos! I begin each show hoping beyond hope that I am going to be able to identify with, and support to the end, the resident homo. This season ex-boyfriend Joe was flamingly obnoxious (so dispatched quickly), then Dustin became comfortable, started solidifying his role as leader of the LNC, and became as sanctimonious, annoying and preachingly precious as the God-fearing rest of them.

Dustin I ask you, which is a more "professional" career, a shoe salesman vs. bartender? Oh Princess!

In other news the blogs and forums are bubbling about rumours that producers of the show manipulate those Diary Room confessions (come on wasn't that obvious, last season Mike Boogie's explanations of each veto or HOH game were just so damn scripted), as well as the cast's incessant bigotry, which has supposedly reached an all time high. This has lead one very clever MySpacer to create the following very cool BB8 Prejudice map:

Big Brother: Jew Bashing Amber

What a surprise, good little god-fearing Christan girl Amber from Las Vegas, NV is a bigot.



And you wonder why I despise organized religion!

In other news America's Player Eric has found himself on the chopping block. After being instrumental in ousting of the delicious Nick last week, Eric was rumbled by Daniele after one of those airplane banner flybys (which stated that both Eric and Amber were liars).

Now this whole America's Player "twist" thing doesn't bother me so much, but Eric and those goddamn life-of-their-own eyebrows do! Does he have to make those goofey wide-eyed arched-brow expressions every time he reads one of the producers' Player messages? And then last week when he tired to compare himself to Nick, even going so far as to having the girls give him a faux-hawk, well that was the final straw. Time to say bu-bye Eric!

Vote Nick!

Don't let it be another hottieless year on CBS' summer reality staple, Big Brother. Have eyebrow happy America's Player Eric, vote out Kail on this Thursday's live eviction show (sadly voting will be closed by the time most of you read this).

We've already lost Mike, the painting contractor from Wisconsin (or more correctly the model from LA!). We can't possibly loose Nick, the former pro football player (and by that we mean European Federation of American Football player for the Seinäjoki Crocodiles, a team from Finland), and the lone surviving member of the Magnus/Kragnus dynamic strongman duo.


Let's face it any straight boy who can admit on national television that he has a Top Five guys that he'd sleep with, well that's a novelty in itself really isn't it. And to recap those guys are:

#1. Matthew McConaughey (naturally)
#2. Hugh Jackman
#3. Brad Pitt
#4. Unknown
#5. Ryan Reynolds

Come on America, and BB8 houseguests, let's please keep Nick in the house just a few weeks longer! I need some eye candy to deal with the increasingly sanctimonious ramblings of Dustin, Evil and co., which is beginning to sound a lot like squawking of Maggie, April and co. from Big Brother 6. And that's a truly scary proposition!

Since I've Been Gone: TV Land

Rosie quits (after contractual negotiations brake down), and former Survivor chick Elisabeth is preggers. Poor Babs now has to find at least two new co-hosts for the surely beleaguered View this fall.

The pretty boy and his ditsy girlfriend (former season 9 racers Eric and Danielle) won The Amazing Race: All-Stars edition! Wasn't this the one team that no one wanted to win?

The second, and far superior, season of Workout seemingly focused less on Sky Sports owner Jackie Warner, and more on her ensemble family of trainers. The slow build towards the death of 44-year old hottie Doug Blasdell brought tears to hottie Brian's (and my) eyes!

Shear Genius is sheer genius (and I'm not the only one who thinks so)! With Jacklyn Smith, an eclectic mix of accented stylists, hair brawls, short cuts, final cuts and the stylist who brought us the 'shag,' what's not to love about Bravo's latest, and campest, Project Runway-esq reality show?

According to Edward James Olmos it seems that those Battlestar Galactica folks will reach Earth in the fourth, and final (or is it?), season of the show when it returns to the airwaves in '08.

Whitney, Lana's first BF on Smallville, is officially the Sci-Fi Channel's new Flash Gordon (not, as previously rumored, the stripper guy from The OC). Super hot Gina Holden will play his beau Dale Arden.

The best show of the 2006-2007 season, Friday Nights Lights, has been picked up for its sophomore season. Yeah! More of Connie Britton's terrific Texas twang!!!

And in an unprecedented announcement by a network, Lost will officially end in 2010! Only 49 more episode left to go!

(And now it's 3 hours of the Survivor:Fiji finale, and I'm currently rooting for underdog Boo!!!)

Bye Bye Ramber!

A collective "Aaawwwwwwwhhhhh!" rang out on Laurel earlier this evening when Phil announced to former Survivor All-Stars champs Rob and Amber Mariano, "You have been eliminated from the Race!"

The Amazing Race: All-Stars that is!

After 3 weeks in poll position, Ramber fell from grace, slipping behind Charla and Mirna as karma bit them in the ass (they lied to the little person and her whinny cousin attempting to lure them away from the cluebox) when they failed to find their self addressed letter at the post office at "The End of the World" on Isla Redonda, the southern most tip of South America.

Mikey and I were both hoping this would be a one of those non-elimination legs. But sadly no. No matter how many reality shows they've already been on, and how much dosh they've already won, say what you will about super-cocky Boston Rob and his Mrs., they were good TV and will be missed!

"I Got Scumbagged!"

"And after tonight I'm done making mistakes."

So said Danielle towards the end of stay in the Big Brother house. Continuing to make mistakes however, she was aptly disposed of by her Legion of Doom allies who had not invited to buy property in Chilltown.

By mid-August Big Brother had become way too frustrating for me to watch. Instead I would cache a number of episodes on the Tivo and then watch 3 or 4 in a single sitting. These "All-Stars," a term which I use very loosely, played the game like newbies, and were played by the Chilltown boys in a way that was embarrassing to watch (Janelle especially should be ashamed of herself). The good doctor Will, who probably should have won again, instead lead cohort Boogie to the end, where he unfittingly trounced Erika in the final duel. And yes, Rosie didn't like the outcome either:



Getting back to the current crop of reality shows it's great to have both Survivor and The Amazing Race back on form.

In it's 13th season Survivor may have over-hyped it's 2-episode racial division as a "social experience like never before," but tonight's episode kept me guessing with the ousting of *spoiler* pro volleyball-playing super-hottie JP really coming out of the blue with both gaysian Brad and square-jawed Adam banding with the chicks to vote him off. And yes, I already have my new campfire mug!

The 10th season of The Amazing Race hopefully eradicates the awful memories of the previous two seasons from our minds. Back with many of the classic stereotypes (the feuding couple, girly gays, hot blond chicks, studley models, underdog mommies, and estranged parent-child combos) that make the Race truly a joy to behold. I'm back on the edge of my seat during every episode and close to tears when Phil utters those fateful words "You're the last team to arrive. You have been eliminated from the race."