CELEBFLASH: Revenge of the DILFs

Well, not ones I'd particularly like to, but the consensus amoung the girls at work was that these guys were all definitely very do-able:

Balthazar Getty survived Feast, but will he outwit Jennifer Garner when he joins Alias this season? This Young Gun has definitely managed to hold onto his looks, but certainly can't keep his gun in it's holster with his 2.4 kids in tow.

Breckin Meyer. The guy from the Garfield movies (yes, they really are making a 2nd). Short, cute and a tad cocky, in person Breckin's REALLY TINY (and I'm only 5'5" and a half). After Garfield, Rat Race and Inside Schwartz you're all like, I hate this guy, but check out his earlier stuff like Dancer, Texas Pop. 81 and Clueless!

Giovanni Ribisi. Looking dirty Giovanni, looking really dirty! But he looks so cool and clean cut in the picture I hear you cry. Oh no, not in reality my friends! And again, he was one skinny runt in person.

OK, so maybe in his day he might just have been my cup of tea. Nah, not really, but Michael Ironside sure looks like somebody's daddy nowadays! Another V alum, Michael was also the guy in Total Recall who got his arms sliced off. Has he ever played a nice guy? And what's it like to be the poor man's Jack Nicholson?

By the way, if you're not sure exactly what a DILF is, think back to 1999's American Pie and the discussion of Stifler's mum being a MILF, only here imagine Stifler's dad instead of his mum!

Kathy's "Main Gay"

While checking my email this past weekend, I come across this rather cool email:

"Hey Matt,

A friend of mine sent me the link to your blog and I'm very flattered that you named it after my novel. What a compliment.

Hope LA is treating you well. perhaps our paths will cross sometime. Oh, if you're looking for something fun to do, I'm hosting this funny show, The MisMatch Game at the Gay and lesbian Center on Sept 16 and 17th. You can see all the info on my website under 'MisMatch Game'

Happy Labor day.

Yours,
Dennis Hensley"

But, you may be asking, why is this email so cool? And why does the name Dennis Hensley seem so familiar?

Dennis is the author of the book I named this blog after (see the blog's description under the title) AND he's also one of Kathy Griffin's "Main Gays" on My Life on the D List (the final episode of which is this Wednesday at 10/9c).

There is no mention of him thinking the blog witty and well written, but we'll assume he thinks so. And, I'd like to think he's forwarded it on to Kathy, which would be pretty awesome since her routine centers on celebs, as pretty much does the blog.

Brian and I quite fancied the idea of being, 'Second-Tier-D-List-Gays', maybe this is our in!!!

Between Her Thighs...

Teri Hatcher's thighs that is.

Paul Nicholas (actor by day, waiter by night) was the waiter who went under the table and between Teri's legs in the Valentine's episode of Desperate Housewives. What exactly did he see up there, I don't know, but Paul has a nice little clip of the incident on his website (click here). This might just top working with George Eads!

Paul once played a rent boy on Homicide: Life on the Street (in the episode "Closet Cases"), which ties us nicely to...

Natalie Sutherland, has also played sluts and prostitutes a few times in her career (so she told me, including once on ER I believe) . Natalie just recently lost a guest spot on Arrested Development to Charlize Theron. Natalie is a fellow Brit (she's a Scot through and through actually), and the casting people were looking for a British girl to play Jason Batemans' love interest for a few episodes. Natalie is spunky, feisty and attractive. She would have made a nice foil to Michael, but they went for a name actress and naturally picked a South African. However, Nat did get to make out with this guy (on the right) in a movie, so I can't feel that sorry for her this time...


Lastly we have Angie, who used to be one of The Farm's managers, but wisely gave up that gig to wait tables (which is highly more lucrative with better hours). In a pervious incarnation Angie worked on none other than Feast, the latest and greatest Project Greenlight movie which has still to see the light of day. Apparantly the shoot was just a horrific as Greenlight showed, Matt Damon was never around, and Ben Afleck was/is a real dick. That said, I still want to see it if it is ever released (IMDB says 2006).

Sean Hayes - Taller than I thought!

I always assumed he was little, around my size, 5'10 tops. But no, he was quite tall, taller than Trainer Pete (a big boy himself) who introduced me to Sean on Saturday morning at Gold's. He was quite pasty white too, but still more attractive in person than on the telly (I must confess however, I did have a thing for him years ago in Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss).

Normally Sean works out with Little Pete, Pete's ex, but, for whatever reason, not this Saturday. After the introduction pleasentaries and discussion of my recent move to LA, my accent, etc., the conversation went thus:

Matt: By the way, I love your show.

Sean: Oh! Thank you!

Matt: No. Not that one, the other one, Situation:Comedy.

Sean: The one watched by 12 people.

Matt: Yeah, that one.

Sean: [Laughs, very un-Jack like]

We both fade into the depths of the gym.

A very pleasant conversation. He seemed very nice, and later, when we both met up at the water fountain, he asked me how things were going (with my workout), which I thought was pretty damn impressive. I was pretty thrilled! So Sean, if you ever need someone to spot you a few reps, I'm there for you buddy!!!

Sunset Junction

Silverlake is the antithesis of West Hollywood... sort of... maybe...

In DC terms, it's pretty much an amalgamation of Capitol Hill and Adams Morgan, only less ethnic, with heavy leather & bear influences. Before I got here I was told I totally fit into the WeHo scene, since being here people have said that I am not quite WeHo enough and have more of a Silverlake edge. I'm a tad confused by all this labeling, so for the moment I go along with whatever they say. It's quite possibly an Abbey vs. Faultine thing, so until I've been to the latter, my verdict is still out.











Back to this weekend and Sunset Junction, the annual Silverlake street festival. It's your typical booze, food and local vendors lining the streets with throngs of people in various states of undress and/or drunkenness. Three music stages with bands I'd never heard of (though apparently some were big names), and a selection of fairground rides dating back to, and actually made in, the 70s.

We went earlyish Saturday afternoon, meeting up with fellow ex-DC soul, Mikey (we'd both lived there for 12 years, only met once - which I don't remember - and knew NO ONE in common), and a couple of his friends, Chad and Philip (hysterical, knew bunches of people in DC, after a few beers he seemed vaguely familiar, maybe I too had met him cracked out at Nation?).

We wondered the streets, slurping frozen margaritas dosed with extra shots that the chick behind the counter handed us in syringes (for a bigger tip). We checked out Rough Trade (with it's leather strap-ons, mesh shirts and forceps). We ate chicken-on-a-stick and hot dogs. Pointed out hot boys with their shirts off (I really must get a digital camera). Had a tipple at some straight bar (which the gays slowly took over as the afternoon progressed). Rode some rides (Philip hated me for a moment or two, I forgave him, it did feel like we gonna die). One of the carnies was probably the dirtiest man alive, the other a terrorist who banned Chad and Philip from The Hustler because they were bopping in places they shouldn't bop. We all jigged to some DJ, ate at some Mexican place, and then called it a night (yes, bloody work again at 8am Sunday morning).

It was probably the best time I've ever had at one of these festival things... must have been the company!

CELEBFLASH: 3 Times in One Day?

Yes, it was almost too much for me to handle.

I saw John Kesler three times in one day.

And I got introduced to him again (naturally he didn't remember me from the previous time, why would he?). Not only is he a personal trainer and a fitness model, but he can build kitchen cabinets (from scratch). Will this man's talents never end?

I have heard tell of a dark side however. Rumor has it he has a tattoo of a swastika over his (hot) ass and (treetrunk like) upper thigh. Is it actually just one of those nivana symbols (the backwards swastika)? My sources are looking into this as you read.

Here are some other recent celeb sightings...

Tia Carrera, pregnant and looking absolutely radiant. We were worried however that she looked like she her waters were going to break and she was going drop the sprog right then and there.

Nia Vardalos, do your relatives always make you buy something so they don't have to use the public restrooms like everyone else? You did look good though, unlike...


Elizabeth Berkley, what happened? You missed out on Saved By The Bell: The College Years. You flaunted it all to no avail in Showgirls. And then you floundered in Woody's Jade Scorpion. But what the hell has happened to your face?

The kid from Nip/Tuck, the one who's actually Christian's son and who was messing about with one of my stalkers. Doesn't he look like some weird spawn of Michael Jackson?

BNRS: At Long Last, My Review

Mike Adamle does it again!

From 1989 to 1997 Mike hosted American Gladiators (a cheese-filled classic, though the UK version took the campiness to a whole new level) bringing such legendary muscle-bound stars as Laser (right - he's just so hot!), Nitro and Zap to our screens. This time (not so ably) abetted by Omarosa, Trishelle and that tall Bachelor Guy, Mike does what Mike does best. He takes the camp factor to new heights with his oh-so-earnest commentary of the trials and tribulations of this new breed of network stars.

BNRS: It's Corel vs. The Miz. Big Brothers' Dr. Will vs. Gay Will. Hatch vs. Hawk. A Millionaire vs. numerous Average and Schmo Joes. And a Showbiz dad called Duncan "The Nut" Nutter!

Of the 32 contestants, there are several Season 2 Apprentice "stars" (but really, what else are they gonna do) and a good smattering from The Amazing Race, The Real World and Survivor, among others. There were only two I didn't recognize (I never did watch Next Top Model, what can I say?).

Corel proudly shows off her "friends"; Hatch schemes; The Miz gets shirtless and pumped up; Jonathan screams at Victoria; Charla proves that Little People have heart; and Rachel Love Fraiser protects all her newly constructed assets. Oh, and they all scream at, or cheer for, one another depending on the amount of alcohol or pain meds consumed.

I never saw the original show (no, not all American shows make it across the Pond, we had It's a Knockout instead). Apparently the competitions are similar, the outfits and styles a little more current, but it's the bitchin' and moanin' and the way these people makes total asses of themselves, that's what we really tune in for anyway. Then, naturally, this being Reality TV, there's the shocking elimination, which really amps up the catfights and infighting! And, of course, makes for good television as these stars all want their second 15 minutes of fame!

I remember the days when Bravo was a highbrow arts channel (which few watched). Now it's owned by NBC, and Celebrity Poker Showdown or those Queer Eye boys are ALWAYS on. I watch. It's certainly better than The History Channel!

In conclusion, I'll leave you with these thoughts: Is this really Reality TV at it's best and brightest? Or trashy and tackiest? Or is NBC simply milking these poor schmos for the longest 15 minutes they can get?

BTW I have the show Season Passed on my TiVo. I love it!

(Yes, Tos, I know... you're totally baffled by all this! GET BLOODY CABLE!!!)