MisMatched Antics... Better Late Than Never

I've been so very busy meeting Buffy and consulting my horoscope, that I've been somewhat lax on getting the "what's been going on in WeHo" news out there.

Remember Dennis (pictured left)? And his suggestion that we go to The MisMatch Game. Well, we went! It was actually the same night that we went to iCandy and saw Rusty Joiner (And I blogged about that first??? That shows where my priorities lay doesn't it?).

Managing to get a Friday night off of work (a triumph in itself), off we went in the Mini to the Gay and Lesbian Center's Renberg Theatre somewhere in Hollywood (this is just the kind of space they are hoping to develop back in DC, but you know with all the politicking and egos involved there they'll just "f" it up).

The night was a blast, though I should have blogged it earlier, I've forgotten all of the good punchlines, and never did by a souvenir response card to jog my memory.

My one big disappointment, where was original Match Game stalwart Brett Somers? Thankfully pipe-smoking Charles Nelson Reilly (played by Kathy Griffin's other "Main Gay", Tony Tripoli, who's always at the gym with Trainer Bobby), along with Miss Piggy and Nancy Kulp (Ms. Hathaway from The Beverly Hillbillies ... yeah, that took me a while as well) soon made me forgive Brett's absence. Evie Harris (who she?) was sufficiently cheap and dirty, and while Ricardo Montalban tried hard (but still failed), Shelley Winters really had no right being there (Oscars or not).

As full of double entendres as the original Match Game and Blankty Blank (the British version which I grew up with) were, this MisMatch game was certainly not suitable for family viewing. It started a little slow (the first contestants didn't realise their answers were supposed to be peppered with topical, gay, sexually graphic innuendos), but picked up quickly, and then there was no stopping the celebrity panelists as the smut came thick and fast (especially from the pig).

Hilarity ensued and a friend of WeHo Mark’s got picked as a contestant, and even got into the finals. The boys told me they’d put my name into the mix to get me up there, so I could meet Dennis. (Un)fortunately I wasn’t picked, but I would have given some damn good answers I can tell you!

So, I didn't get to meet Dennis. When they were selling the response cards after the show there was such a glut of gay boyz, it was just too much and I thought I'd just look like a ninny introducing myself as "I'm Matt in LA and I write the Misadventures blog."

Oh well, so much for getting invited to Kathy's Toy for Tots holiday party this year!

Not So Crabby

Ying and Yangs. Feng Shui masters. Kabbalahan strings. They have it all here in the City of Angels. But none more so than the tried and true, found in every local paper, astrological guides, or simply put, the daily horoscope.

On numerous occasions since moving here people have asked (even in an interview), "So, what's your star sign?" or "You're a Cancer aren't you?" and when I nod in agreement, their response goes something along the lines of, "I thought so!", "Yes! I could tell!" or a simple "Oh!" followed by a sigh!

Being a little perturbed by these responses, I thought it best to do some research, to find out what being a Cancerian meant to these people. Here is what I found:

"Cancerians are not easy to understand, for their moods often fluctuates from sweet to cranky. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, and inclined to self-pity because of an inferiority complex. A typical Cancerian broods on insults. They also tend to change their opinions and, indeed, their occupations, and lack stability. Cancer people are apt to do the opposite from what they are advised to do."

~ www.vedic-astrology-prediction.com

"[Cancerians] are rather close-minded and opinionated. They have a retentive memory, and rarely forgive slights and hurts. With a tendency toward chronic complaining, a Cancerian will never let you forget an error… They are over-imaginative and prone to be a victim of fantasy. They have a flair for the dramatic… By nature, very giving and selfless, they need to be aware of falling into the role of martyr in certain situations."

~ www.findyourfate.com

Cancerians, "the most perplexing of the signs," but basically perceived to be unstable over-emotional basketcases, who cling to their mum's apron strings, rarely leave the house and have something of a martyr complex!!!

OK, so I'll admit to being a tad sensitive (I sobbed when Casper became a real boy and danced with Christina Ricci at the end of the movie), I'm obviously intuitive (see Day 113), paternal (I do love my puppy), untidy (I like to refer to it as "organized piles"), a bit of a homebody (when you have TiVo why leave the house), even somewhat of a whiner (ask Brian)...

But the rest of it... Phooey!

Opinionated and always right? I don't think so!

An emotional basketcase? Certainly not!

A brooding drama queen? Not on your life!

I do occasionally glance at my own horoscope, and I can see some correlation in what I'm supposed to be and what I actually am. But this whole notion that the positioning of the stars has made be what I am just doesn't ring true.

So, LA people, I know you all get caught up in these fads (be it diet, exercise, spirituality or wotnot), but remember, "moderation is the key." It's a bit of fun to see if you're going to win some money or fall into or out of love, not a defining lifestyle choice!

FYI other notable (manly man) crabs include Vin Diesel, Sylvester Stallone, Harrison Ford, Kris Kristofferson and David Hasselhoff!

(And for those wondering just how the pictures relate to this post... the pose these three boys are doing is known as "the crab shot")

CELEBFLASH ULTRA: BUFFY!!!

As regular readers will have noticed, I "catalogue" pretty much all my celebrity sightings here on Misadventures. I'm not necessarily a fan of these people, few of them really float my boat, it's just that I'm a small town boy from the England, who's always been enamored with television and the movies. I recognize them and (hopefully) make witty little asides. The list of "stars" I would really care to see is pretty damn short. Really!

Well, today I hit an absolute high. Maybe even the top of the ladder...

Buffy, the bloody, Vampire Slayer!!!



Sarah Michelle Gellar herself... in the flesh... no Freddie Prince (not that I care).

She's standing in line at the restaurant to get on the waiting list. I turn, see her and my knees go weak. I seriously cannot move!

Cut to: A bit later.

Her party is seated (she's with her mum and some friends), and I overhear her asking Natalie for crayons for the kid with her. It just happens today is the day we're crayonless, but being the manager I find some, take them over, and just start to gush!

It's all a blur, but it went something like this:

"I know this is unprofessional, and I've never done this sort of thing before, but I really wanted to say that I love your work. I just moved from Washington, DC and you were at the top of my list of people I wanted to see. I love everything you've done. I love Buffy! Thank you!"

Her friend makes some joke: "You think that's?... She's my cousin Bertha."

Sarah Michelle: "Big Bertha they used to call me."

Me: "Don't even kid with me on this one. My knees are knocking! Meeting you has just made my entire week."

I get a bunch of "Thank yous" and "You're so sweet" and I finally leave them to their lunch. My heart is racing, the knees still knocking, and I'm almost on the verge of tears (uh?).

Cut again to: Some time later.

I'm doing some managerial sorta stuff at one of the terminals, and Sarah Michelle's mum comes up to me and asks if I had anything I wanted Sarah to sign, Sarah was just wondering? WOW! Of course, no DVD, no MOC action figure, not even a decent piece of paper. I grab a pen, tear a bit of paper out of the receipt terminal and head on over.

Matt -

It was so nice to meet you.

Best wishes,

Sarah Michelle

I gush some more, say thanks and byes, and shake her hand.

And I'm floored. WOW again! How nice and sweet, and... well, that whole expereince just blew me a-bloody-way!!!

Now, if only Spike were to show himself....

CELEBFLASH: Real Eye Candy?

For a CelebFlash post, this one's really pushing the boundaries... but these guys of Reality TV have worked hard on their 15 minutes of fame, so shouldn't I at least acknowledge their efforts:

My 4th Iconman was my biggest disappointment so far. Rusty Joiner, famed for winning the Structure Underwear Contest back in 1999, now bartends at local WeHo bar, iCandy. Brian and I both thought he looked like crap. Admittedly, he was all ripped and buff and that, but his face was that of a tired, aging, hardened partier. Then again, who am I to judge? I didn't "star" in Dodgeball!



Another dodgeballer, Mark Long plays for the Reef Sharks on GSN's Extreme Dodgeball. Never seen that? Me neither, but I'm sure you'll remember him from MTV's Road Rules 1, and the numerous challenges he's been in. Yeah, he's the old timer who pals around with Eric Nies - who I'd much rather have run in to.

Big Brother 3 and TV/Internet whore Marcellous Reynolds seemed just as smarmy in real life as he did when he was stuck in the Big Brother house. Why can't hot fireman Eric host Housecalls instead of this guy?


Lastly we have Scott, the supergay assistant and stylist wannabe from Blowout. (I told you this CelebFlash was going to be a bit of a stretch).

Day 113

I worked out earlier today, a pretty heavy chest day (though I'm beginning to plateau again, and I need to start eating more "real" foods), but by this afternoon I was beginning to ache some. As the evening progressed the aches got worse and worse, my wrists, all up my arms, into my shoulders. Now, if you're gonna ache, you tend to the day or so after. So this was weird. Especially since it was in my arms and, well, it wasn't even an arm day.

And then it rains!!!

A nice, sudden downpour (I rarely watch the weather reports, so who knows if they forcast this), followed by some light intermittent showers.

I've been here now for well over 3 months, and this is the first time the skies have opened up. And, naturally, leading up to these first rains, my old bones start to moan and grumble at me about the change in weather and the coming downpour.

Yes, I'll always be a country boy at heart!

I Survived! And So Did Steph!

Walker was right! I already love love love Survivor: Guatemala! And beware, there are minor spoilers below for those of you yet to watch your TiVos.

And, by the way, I actually knew it was Stephanie and Bobby Jon (not Jeff) who were the two returning favourties. I just wanted the chance to post another Jeff pic. Seriously, who would rather look at Bobby Jon? Or Jeff?












You see, I did it again!

Now Walker and co. think Bobby Jon (or Jesus as we like to call him) has buffed up significantly since Palau. Maybe... but that shot of his eyes rolling back in his head... buffer or not, a total turn off.

Also, I did tear up a tad when Jeff told Steph this would be the first tribal council she would not be participating in (I usually don't blub until the final 7 or 8).

And though they didn't post to the blog, both Emily and Walker responded to my entry:

Walker: "I have determined that I won't say, "I love him/her" at all this season to attempt to keep some of my fun people around."

Emily: "Yes, and I promise that when I see Angela at that wedding next month, I'll kick her in the gut if she tries to tell me anything."

Lastly, I just purchased the new mug. I am a total geek!

Will I Survive Thursday?

What type of question is that, you may well ask? Well, tomorrow I work a double. Yes, that's right, I open the restaurant at 8am and close it down at 11pm. One hell of a long day (and a gymless one at that unless I'm up at 6am), but one of my own choosing since I switched shifts so I could have both Friday and Saturday off this week.

Tomorrow however, is also the premiere of Survivor: Guatemala. And just who the two returning Survivors? My picks are Stephanie and Jeff from Palau. In ten seasons I've NEVER missed an episode, I have all nine campfire mugs (they never made one for season one), and even a buff. But most importantly, this is the first season I'm spending thousands of miles away from the group. Every week we'd get together, someone would cook or order in, and then we'd all sit there screaming at the TV.

Whoever Walker took a liking to would be off the island faster than you can say "tax evasion". Emily's friend would always somehow leak the order of who got booted. And Ken would embarrass the rest of us with simply stunning dinners. Others flitted in and out (as I did at one point), but those guys were the core.

Until I have a new group out here, I'm gonna feel this pang at 8pm on Thursdays, so for now maybe it's better I have to work!

Blendz Addiction

So I was doing some figuring...

I generally workout 5 times a week. Let's say I get shakes roughly 4 days out of 5. A typical shake, once you've added the cost of the extra scoop of protein I get, costs $6.00 (give or take a few pennies).

That's $24.00 a week. Not bad.

$96.00 a month. The approximate cost of a month's cable and TiVo combined.

Or $1,200.00 a year (this is based on 50 weeks since I usually take a couple of weeks off).

In real terms this is the equivalent of 4 car payments, 2 months rent (yeah it's cheap), or 219 Star Wars action figures (and BTW people The 40 Year Old Virgin made a mint off of his "dolls", so could I... eventually... maybe... I do have the ComicCon exclusive Werewolf Oz).

But yes, if I continue like so, I will be spending $1,200.00 a year on PROTEIN SHAKES.

(Damn you Julie at Gold's for getting me addicted! And damn the Mocha Meltdown for being so bloody good!)

Now that's just crazy!

Unless, of course I end up looking like this...

CELEBFLASH: Revenge of the DILFs

Well, not ones I'd particularly like to, but the consensus amoung the girls at work was that these guys were all definitely very do-able:

Balthazar Getty survived Feast, but will he outwit Jennifer Garner when he joins Alias this season? This Young Gun has definitely managed to hold onto his looks, but certainly can't keep his gun in it's holster with his 2.4 kids in tow.

Breckin Meyer. The guy from the Garfield movies (yes, they really are making a 2nd). Short, cute and a tad cocky, in person Breckin's REALLY TINY (and I'm only 5'5" and a half). After Garfield, Rat Race and Inside Schwartz you're all like, I hate this guy, but check out his earlier stuff like Dancer, Texas Pop. 81 and Clueless!

Giovanni Ribisi. Looking dirty Giovanni, looking really dirty! But he looks so cool and clean cut in the picture I hear you cry. Oh no, not in reality my friends! And again, he was one skinny runt in person.

OK, so maybe in his day he might just have been my cup of tea. Nah, not really, but Michael Ironside sure looks like somebody's daddy nowadays! Another V alum, Michael was also the guy in Total Recall who got his arms sliced off. Has he ever played a nice guy? And what's it like to be the poor man's Jack Nicholson?

By the way, if you're not sure exactly what a DILF is, think back to 1999's American Pie and the discussion of Stifler's mum being a MILF, only here imagine Stifler's dad instead of his mum!

Kathy's "Main Gay"

While checking my email this past weekend, I come across this rather cool email:

"Hey Matt,

A friend of mine sent me the link to your blog and I'm very flattered that you named it after my novel. What a compliment.

Hope LA is treating you well. perhaps our paths will cross sometime. Oh, if you're looking for something fun to do, I'm hosting this funny show, The MisMatch Game at the Gay and lesbian Center on Sept 16 and 17th. You can see all the info on my website under 'MisMatch Game'

Happy Labor day.

Yours,
Dennis Hensley"

But, you may be asking, why is this email so cool? And why does the name Dennis Hensley seem so familiar?

Dennis is the author of the book I named this blog after (see the blog's description under the title) AND he's also one of Kathy Griffin's "Main Gays" on My Life on the D List (the final episode of which is this Wednesday at 10/9c).

There is no mention of him thinking the blog witty and well written, but we'll assume he thinks so. And, I'd like to think he's forwarded it on to Kathy, which would be pretty awesome since her routine centers on celebs, as pretty much does the blog.

Brian and I quite fancied the idea of being, 'Second-Tier-D-List-Gays', maybe this is our in!!!

Between Her Thighs...

Teri Hatcher's thighs that is.

Paul Nicholas (actor by day, waiter by night) was the waiter who went under the table and between Teri's legs in the Valentine's episode of Desperate Housewives. What exactly did he see up there, I don't know, but Paul has a nice little clip of the incident on his website (click here). This might just top working with George Eads!

Paul once played a rent boy on Homicide: Life on the Street (in the episode "Closet Cases"), which ties us nicely to...

Natalie Sutherland, has also played sluts and prostitutes a few times in her career (so she told me, including once on ER I believe) . Natalie just recently lost a guest spot on Arrested Development to Charlize Theron. Natalie is a fellow Brit (she's a Scot through and through actually), and the casting people were looking for a British girl to play Jason Batemans' love interest for a few episodes. Natalie is spunky, feisty and attractive. She would have made a nice foil to Michael, but they went for a name actress and naturally picked a South African. However, Nat did get to make out with this guy (on the right) in a movie, so I can't feel that sorry for her this time...


Lastly we have Angie, who used to be one of The Farm's managers, but wisely gave up that gig to wait tables (which is highly more lucrative with better hours). In a pervious incarnation Angie worked on none other than Feast, the latest and greatest Project Greenlight movie which has still to see the light of day. Apparantly the shoot was just a horrific as Greenlight showed, Matt Damon was never around, and Ben Afleck was/is a real dick. That said, I still want to see it if it is ever released (IMDB says 2006).